Today, I flew back from my holiday. It felt less like a return to normal life and more like plummeting from heaven to reality. My anxiety never leaves, turning every simple thing into an overwhelming challenge. The world outside moves too fast, too loud, too confusing. And today, like so many days, I felt completely useless. I hadn’t done anything but existed, and even that left me exhausted.
I just wanted to sleep, but the dizziness hit when we arrived at the airport it all became a blur. It felt like the walls were closing in, making it hard to breathe, my mind fogging over with confusion. I couldn’t even find the entrance. My heart pounded, not because of excitement, but fear. A fear so deep it rooted me to the spot, barely able to move.
I’m so grateful I wasn’t alone. He was there to guide me, to carry my luggage when I felt like collapsing under the weight of it all. He, a quiet presence in the storm. There was no judgment in his eyes, just understanding. All I had to do was follow him, step after step, trying not to get lost in the unknown place what always make me feel small, scared, insecure.
It’s a small airport, thankfully. Not many people, which was a small mercy, but even then I just wanted to disappear, to hide from the eyes I imagined on me, from the whispers I imagined too.
The airport staff arrived so quickly. I was too confused to even thank him properly for being there, for helping me when I felt like I was drowning. It all happened so fast, and then he was gone. No time for words, just a hollow goodbye.
When an airport staff member came and led me to the plane. It made me think, how many people, lost in their own anxiety, don’t know that this kind of help is available? How many struggle in silence, not realizing they don’t have to face this alone?
I noticed another girl, holding a hidden disability card. I don’t know what she’s dealing with, maybe it’s not anxiety like mine, but I could see it in her eyes, the way she stood there, alone in the queue. No support staff with her, no one by her side. Just her, standing there, alone with her struggles, facing it all on her own.
There’s a strange comfort in knowing that someone can be there, just to be with you, to guide you when your own mind is too much to bear. We don’t talk enough about these things. We don’t share the ways we can make life just a little bit easier for those of us who live in constant fear.
If only more people knew they weren’t alone in this maybe, just maybe, the world wouldn’t feel so terrifying.